If you’re getting sick of the Shrek moshes: Don’t tell me I don’t care
"you’re too easily amused"
yeah god forbid someone find joy and amusement in something even if it’s something silly and be genuinely happy when they frequently feel upset and like shit
MY ANACONDA DONT
aries: sexually frustrated at everything
taurus: really nice but dead inside
gemini: mostly just hungry
cancer: in the closet but not really
leo: super gay for everyone
virgo: promises not to tell and then tells everyone
libra: lazy assholes like seriously do something with your life
scorpio: i’ve never met one but they’re all jerks
sagittarius: always boning your mom
capricorn: loves everyone but loves themselves more
aquarius: never not killing you
pisces: big booty bitches
shirts that get tight around the armpit
So many cute guys, so little confidence to talk to them
why didn’t harry use the chamber of secrets when teaching dumbledore army? i mean, only HE could open the door?
because the giant basilisk skeleton might have been a distraction
if anything it sets the mood
i love that kids don’t understand the concept of money. i heard a kid at walmart today grab a bag of beef jerky and say “i’m just going to have this” and when his mom said “you can’t just take that” he said “who is going to stop me”
friendly reminder that if i have ever befriended you and have not spoken to you in a while it’s nothing you’ve done wrong it’s just because i’m a piece of shit at keeping in contact with people and i still love you okay good
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME